Chopped Liver – Run Like Hell

This was supposed to be one if the easier days – HA! -they do like a little joke – they take playing Doctors and Nurses to a new level.

So let’s remind ourselves what my timetable – hmm kidney blood test at 10:45 and a chat with the dietician at 14:00.

And that is that.

Now here’s what really happened. Kidney stuff as planned with an amazingly friendly nurse then back up to the ward to be sent off to get a chest xray, back up to the ward for a meeting with the consultant who says that in addition to the endoscopy tomorrow they will do a colonoscopy so I need to, how you say, clear my system by taking this strong laxative drink from now till then – and nil solid by mouth.

On top of all this I had to provide the blood gas test prior to my meeting with the anaesthetist. Now this is the test that I alluded to in a previous post which is so painful that I had formulated a plan for.

Time to put the plan into operation then.

It involves getting them to numb the area so I don’t feel a thing. Ingenious.

My plan failed.

So did their first attempt at extracting the blood. I can’t tell you how painful it is – so I won’t.

Time now to meet the anaesthetist. Nice man. Very nice man. Explained everything.

And the dietician. Nice woman. Very nice woman. Said my diet is good.

The thing about all these people – they all say my results are good, my diet is good, my xrays are good, my scans etc etc – I’m the perfect example of a perfect human being.

Except I’m not.

You see the fact that all these results are good means I am in great shape to undergo the liver transplant. Leave it a little longer and the blood clot in my portal vein could travel … To a place whether they would not be able to do the transplant at all. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is where we are today – a healthy man – healthy enough to have a liver transplant.

And with that – I need to run to the toilet.

Back.

One other thing to add is that… Hang on a mo – gotta run…

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