Chopped Liver – In Through The Out Door

A good night ‘s sleep.

Procedure day.

Top an’ Tail they call it.

Come on guys you can work out what it means – ok the Top is a camera down the throat and the tail is a camera up th… Ok you get the idea.

Mild sedation required. To be honest I’ve had it before – it’s more uncomfortable than painful – makes you gag, feel bloated etc but we’ll get through this ok – After all I still have the cannula in from Monday – so I’m hoping I get in and out with no complications.

Bloody starvin though – nil by mouth since yesterday afternoon – still the breakfast lady be round soon – at least I can look.

“no that’s not right – let’s see what you could’ve won!”.

Later on this afternoon B is coming in to meet the liver transplant coordinators – she better bring a pen n paper cos I still expect to be zonked.

Been ordering the kosher grub up to now – much better quality than the usual hospital fodder and of course I am a nice Jewish boy. But Jason across the ward has started ordering halal – and wow you should see the curries he gets – stinking …. Sorry that was supposed to read stonking but iphone’s spillchucker changed it for me.

Ah here’s breakfast – they never check if I’m nil by mouth or not. They will ask. You’ll see. I’ll ask for full English. See what happens.

Oh, she gone.



I’ll just lie here and wait for the camera show.

Ok that was top n tail – only thing missing was the hat.

It was fine – all as expected – don’t know results yet.

Had some lunch too – kosher steak n mushroom pie – tremendous.

Ready to meet wifey now – haven’t seen her since Sunday – but she has (yet another) stonking (sorry that should read stinking) cold – shall I give her sympathy?

Now that’s what I call a conundrum – I should lump on the pathos.

I feel a lot better now / knowing the worst of the procedures are done for the week – and I got through them all.

Here’s B

Better go.

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8 Comments on “Chopped Liver – In Through The Out Door”

  1. Nigel Says:

    This is all a bit dramatic for an ingrowing toenail and make sure they test you for swine fever !!
    Hope to you back soon

  2. Paulette Says:

    well I must say you are a funny funny irish knob!!!!! Loving the daily drama in fact would be upset if they let you out too early !!!! However, you have left me with Laurel, she did ok last night (tuesday), not so hot today (wednesday) ok so I got stuck with an easy to make 6NT but believe me thats nothing to her mishaps, in fact I asked the director to find me a partner with Balls!!!!! thats it for now keep your chin up. lots of love Paulette

    • Anthony Says:

      Blimey! Is that the first time you’ve remebered a hand more than 30 seconds after playing it!

      David, get back here quick – your partner keeps winning money without you, thereby reducing the chances of me winning. We at least now have a fair impression of who really is the weakest link.

      Hope it all goes well – with my own pathetic fear of needles I am thinking of you with each blood test reference.

  3. Fiona Frank Says:

    hello my dear. Ivor gave me the link to your blog and I have read it all with bated breath : the ringside seat for your procedures is very close! keep ’em coming, I am now waiting for the blow by blow account daily. I get weedy, but why B? love, Fiona (Frank, currently on chapter 6….)

  4. Sophie Levi-Kallin Says:

    Hi David,
    Sending love and best wishes from Steve and I.

    And I will definitely stay tuned in to the blog.

    See you soon
    Sophie xxxxx

  5. michelle Says:

    your blog has made me smile, it’s great to keep your pecker up. Ever thought of writing books, it may be your true vocation.I won’t be having chopped liver this Friday night.Wishing you all the best,

  6. Graham Pyle Says:

    Hi David

    I didn’t know about any of this, so it’s come as a big shock to me. I only e-mailed you suggesting a coffee and now that’s on hold. It was your turn to pay as well!

    If you’re going to be in hopsickle for a while, I can come visit and we can compare stories about needles, canulas,endoscopies and even gastroscopies!

    If you’re listening to Neil Young, I’d recommend ‘The needle and the damage done’!

    Hang on in there, David.

    Good luck


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