Chopped Liver – I Would Do Anything for a Liver (but I wouldn’t do THAT!)

Firstly, I’d like to say a big THANK YOU to “eachway” Steve – have a look at the ScepticalPunter if you want to learn everything you need to know about horse racing tips – and maybe find out how he managed to donate a sizable sum to the British Liver Trust charity page I have set up by his successful eachway tip on Denman in the Chelltenham Gold Cup. Steve – I may even like you on the 365th day of the year.

So what happened today? Well I had another dose of hepatic encilopsicofonopolous – see yesterday’s post for definition and more accurate smelling. A new feature length film of Fireman Sam was being shown in Finchley and B wanted to see it sorry, Weedy wanted to see it. So the three of us go off to Finchley for the film and park in the car park – but I decided to stay in the car and have “a wee schloff” ( that is a mixture of Glaswegian and Yiddish and translated into student-speak means “catch some zeds”). Whilst in the car, I happened to notice the headlights shining brightly on the car facing me in the car park – “oh dear”, I thought. “Someone’s going to have a flat battery – heh heh heh” I sniggered in silent Schadenfreude (that is German and means precisely “heh heh heh”).

An hour and a half later B and Weedy return, get in the car, and we set off. Except we didn’t. The key went in. The key turned… but the engine did not. The battery was flat. The lights I saw on the car facing me were a reflection of my own headlights. “Heh heh heh”, sneared the grinning facade of the facing car.

So, it was now a case of B and Weedy off for a Pizza while I continued my vigil in my car as I waited for the recovery vehicle to start me up (hey, an unsolicited song title!) – and before you ask, No – I am not a real man – I do not carry jump leads in my car.

The recovery guy was a hoot (peep peep) – he noticed my surname and asked about my Russian connections and it did not take much for us to engage in a deep discussion about Lithuanian Jewry, Catholicism, Stalinism, Communism and Roadside Recoverism. He did not, however have a spare large internal organ-ism to donate – alas!

A footnote to the film. And I think this is outrageous. Apparently – and apologies for those of you who have not yet seen the film – if you do not want to know the ending – look away NOW – apparently, Fireman Sam did not – I repeat, did not… put out the fire! A shower of rain did. We didn’t need the fireman. The film should not have been called Fireman Sam. Indeed Fireman Sam should not be called Fireman Sam. As B put it…eh.. not that B… eh, a different B – a more authentic B – anyway, as B put it – he should simply have been called Man Sam.

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One Comment on “Chopped Liver – I Would Do Anything for a Liver (but I wouldn’t do THAT!)”

  1. aviva Says:

    I was really looking forward to seeing that film but youve ruined it for me. Not only have you ruined the ending of what I had heard was a great film with fabulous twists but you have destroyed my faith in the Greatest Fireman of all time. Shame on you David, SHAME

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