Chopped Liver – I Feel Fine

Arguably the most common conversation in the world (after translations of course) goes something like this:-

“Hi, How are you?”

“Fine thanks, how are you?”

“I’m Fine, thanks – so, what’s new” and so on…..

Ok, I dont expect any prizes for this illuminatory observation. But I do want to explore it a little.

Y’see, when people say “How are you” – they are not, I say NOT, asking how you are. In fact that’s probably the last thing they want to know – it’s simply an opening gambit, an ice-breaker, a simple conversation starter – it is, in fact, the ultimate rhetorical question.

But what if you’re not alright?

This is where it gets a bit fuzzy. Answering that you have a stinking cold is acceptable – why? – I think because we all get them at one time or another so we can casually sympathise and move on to stage 2 of the conversation – “And how are the kids?” Also, I might venture to guess that it is acceptable because nothing needs doing by the enquirer – there is no cure for the common cold and we all know how to deal with our own colds.

What about – oh, I have to have a minor operation – I dunno, gallstone, appendix etc – that’s fine too – ‘cos then you can respond – “oh Dear, that’s a shame, poor thing – if there’s anything I can do, y’know just call yada yada yada”. Again, it’s a bit more serious, but both parties can easily deal with it.

But what about someone in my position? Most days, I feel fine but I do have a serious condition requiring serious remedial action. So, how does the conversation go now? Y’see, in some respects, it depends on how well you know the person. If it’s family, I guess you spill the beans and tell all. If it’s a close friend, ditto. If it’s an acquaintance then – I guess you just say “Fine thanks, How are you?” and move on.

The bottom line is – nobody wants to listen to bad news. Nobody wants to be put in a negative frame of mind. Positive people surround themselves with positive people.

So, how am I? I feel fine, thank you – and you?

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2 Comments on “Chopped Liver – I Feel Fine”

  1. Anthony Says:

    Strange goings on last night at the bridge table. With you away looking after Weedy your partner ‘Lozza’ not only managed a whopping 71% (and won easily) but at 10.04 she told me in the middle of the play to ‘f*** off!’. None of this would happen with your mild mannered ways to keep her in check – we clearly need you back next week.

  2. davidkallin Says:

    I’ll see what I can do – should be able to get it back to 17% instead. As regards the profanities, you cant blame that solely on Lozza – after all she was playing under the influence of Simon.

    (Note to self: Ask Simon how he understands partner’s bids)


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