Chopped Liver – Green Onions

If only I had realised. All those years of trying to understand the opposite sex. All those lonely nights. The torment. The desparation. The fear of …. of being… left… on the shelf. And all the time the answer was staring at me right smack in the face.

Y’see I came home this evening at about 6pm. B had bought a whole load of vegetables and beans for me to make a, eh… bean stew. She couldn’t do it herself y’see for no other reason, of course, that she had a friend over with her kid who was running amok with Weedy in what we used to call Home Sweet Home.

B enquired of the friend if she would like to see the most amazing way to finely chop an onion. On the inevitable negative response, B suggested she observe and be impressed as I got to work on said onion.

Chopped Onion

Chop. Chop. Chop. Slice. Chop. and, eh Voila! Kerching! Bingo! Ta-Ra! One finely chopped onion.

“Wow, that is amazing” declared friend. “I had no idea. Cor. I am just so … I mean… I’m eh.. utterly, eh… speechless! And what else do you do?”

So, all those lonely student nights, and all I could have done was chop a fuckin’ onion!!!

Oh, it’s enough to make you cry.

Explore posts in the same categories: Liver Transplant

One Comment on “Chopped Liver – Green Onions”

  1. After putting me through Reading all this- I want to see you chop onions … And see you cry (may be sing at the same time). Any chance putting all this on YouTube?

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