Chopped Liver – The Shoop Shoop Song

It’s been a fraught few days. My mum has been down to stay. Second time on her own since my father died, Second time travelling to London on where she has had to be self-dependent. To say she was dependent on my dad is an understatement – she used his eyes, his ears, and whatever other useful senses she could muster.

But now she is on her own and becoming ever more forgetful, ever more irrational and well…it’s really tough. Tough for her. Tough for the rest of us.

Look, don’t get me wrong, I’m not having a go – in fact I show some of the same signs myself – but then I am hoping it may be related to my liver condition – a dodgy liver plays tricks with the mind you know – no serious… it does.

My mum is going back home tomorrow. Tonight was the inevitable bag-packing trauma. This was a time my dad never looked forward to – I call it the “Where’s my…?” show. This time there was no dad to plea to. And so we had an evening which shall be forever known as the Two Shoe Show.

Part One. My mum has a mobile phone. It doesn’t get used much but she needs it to call her helper at the other end of the journey, so she had to charge it – but she couldn’t find it. Look, there are not many places this phone could be – she only came down to London with… well, she came down to London with 5 bags actually but that’s not the point – the phone was not to be found. It must have lodged itself under a cushion or behind a … oh I dunno – this turned into a most fraught evening.

Part Two. During the search for the phone, I found a shoe in one of the 5 bags. The more observant amongst you may have noticed the use of the singular in the previous sentence. So I enquired of my mum where perhaps the other shoe was. This caused further fraughtness. It was all a bit sad. A bit too much for her… and me. I’ll skip to the chase. I found the other shoe in one of the other bags – ’nuff said.

Part One (reprise). We had decided that my mum will have to do without the phone. It’ll turn up somewhere sometime – let’s stop worrying about it now. So we stopped looking. There were still a couple of items to be packed or moved towards the door. For example… a pair of shoes for the journey. So my mum picked up the first shoe – and hey, guess what was in the shoe? Of course – the mobile phone. Put there as it was the one place where she would notice it and NOT leave it behind. A smart move, perhaps – but you do kinda have to remember where you put it if you want to use it. Oh, and by the way, for you smart geezers out there shouting “Why did you not just call it and follow the ring?” I did. It was switched off – ‘natch.

“Well”, my mum said. “That was a all bit stupid, wasn’t it? I really put my foot in it.”

No Mum – if you had really put your foot in it – you’d have found the damned phone!

It’s tough for my mum – at times like these you realise… she realises… just how isolated she is – and how she has a lot more adjustments to make in her life. She’s not really ready to face these changes. She may not know how to do it. She has relied on her long-term partner to have jumped to her beck and call – but she has to learn a new independence now – at her age – tough, very tough.

Now there… are 3…. steps to… carry a donor card – ooh, wap wap!
Just follow steps 1, 2 and 3.

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