Chopped Liver – Lock, No Stock and a Big Smoking Barrel

This post is subtitled “Sabotaging Your Business – Part 2”

That’s because there is no song title called Lock, No Stock and a Big Smoking Barrel – no, really!

By the way, Happy Birthday Mike – I told him his card was in the post – so here it is.

A few weeks I attended a meeting at North London’s premier arty… look I am not going to name this place as I intend to do business with them soon.

I went to the toilet on the 2nd floor – first cubicle the door wouldn’t lock, second one the door wouldn’t lock – third one the door would lock – but there was no paper.

So I went up to the 3rd floor.

First cubicle the door wouldn’t lock, second one the door wouldn’t lock – third one the door would lock – and there was paper.

I did my thang. Left the cubicle and went to wash my hands (I am a New Man!). No Soap!

I went back again today – and lo and behold – fully 4 weeks later and there was no difference!!!

Listen, no matter how good the venue might be – I would not be inclined to return.

Get yourself decent cleaners! Second thoughts – I’ll arrange it for them!

Sabotage – that’s what it is – they are sabotaging their own business.

Now there… are 3…. steps to… carry a donor card – ooh, wap wap!
Just follow steps 1, 2 and 3.

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2 Comments on “Chopped Liver – Lock, No Stock and a Big Smoking Barrel”

  1. davidkallin Says:

    I thought about getting Elvis Costello to play a surprise gig in your garden.

    Well, it’s the thought that counts.

    Oh, and Happy Birthday

    (what’s left of it)

  2. sawbofeller Says:

    Let me guess, he’d open his set with “My aim is true”…

    See, you don’t have a monopoly on crap gags.


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