Chopped Liver – Seat Down

I want to dispel a myth.

Arguably the greatest accusation of laziness levelled against mankind is unjust and unfair. And when I say “mankind” I mean mankind, and not womankind – as it is womankind who have levelled the accusation.

Blokes are accused, to the point of boredom, of leaving the toilet seat up after use. Well, yesterday it struck me that there is a genuine reason for this – and I stand up for mankind on this issue of national, if not global, importance.

My 6 year old son goes peepee. We have been encouraging him since the age of about 3 to go peepee – when he feels he needs to, and to go on his own, and to wipe himself etc etc.

So he does. He goes peepee. He lifts the seat up – after all you would not want him to pee on the seat, so good boy, lift the seat up. Then he goes peepee. Then he has a little wipe. Then he washes his hands – very good boy.

Now he does not have the strength nor the reach to flush. But hey, the boy done good.

And he leaves the toilet.

And the seat is still up. Now, I don’t know about you, but I would rather my boy not spend longer than is necessary (about a nano second) touching that toilet seat before he places his fingers in his mouth or on food or whatever – so I am happy with this situation and I reward him with a resounding “Good Boy!”

And so the boy grows up, through his formative years, being taught, and indeed rewarded, with leaving the toilet up.

We aim to please - would you aim too, please?


So, to do what womankind would prefer, requires a complete re-training of this nurtured behaviour. Some manage that. Some do not. Some do not know why we have to change. After all, boys – men – need the toilet seat up to do weewee (the adult form of peepee), whereas women need it down.

But us men don’t get all hot under the collar and complain that women leave the toilet seat down, so we have to lift it up. We simply get on with our lives – after all we wouldn’t want to miss a contentious throw-in in the footy match in the lounge – or worse still, lose control over the remote control!

Now there… are 3…. steps to… carry a donor card – ooh, wap wap!
Just follow steps

Explore posts in the same categories: british liver trust, Liver Transplant, organ donor

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2 Comments on “Chopped Liver – Seat Down”

  1. Fiona Says:

    Putting the ‘lid’, as opposed to the seat, down could be a hygiene thing. After all it must reduce what some people charmingly describe as ‘splatter’ when you flush, and therefore germs flying around?
    Alternatively having the lid down is an aesthetic thing, though I would NEVER describe those hideous pink fluffy seat covers with the word aesthetic.
    I live in a male dominated house and never bother if it’s up or down. Better things to waste my time on, such as wondering …
    Question: if you have net curtains up, is there any point at all in cleaning your windows?

  2. davidkallin Says:

    Hmmm… Lid down doesn’t enter the equation in my house – though I am moved to say that you inadvertantly support my case. Y’see, if one accepts the splatter event as normal, then it implies that the splatter must splat against the underside of the seat – all the more reason I don’t want my son touching that seat.

    Re: windows and net curtains – I just can’t see the wood for the trees on that issue


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