Chopped Liver – Marquis Cha-Cha

Time for another retrospective. This post describes what happened when I first came round – after the operation. It’s incredible to think, and in some ways a little unfair of me to sleep right through it, just what went on in the preceeding 24 – 36 hours that I was oblivious to the world.

I became aware that my eyes were opening, as I lay on this strange bed in some strange room with tubes coming out of my every orifice. Typically I must have been the last to know ‘cos these are the images I first became aware.

From the bottom of the bed, I first caught a hazy view of Dr. P (Smiler doesn’t seem appropriate anymore – these doctors are are truly awesome and deserve more respect). Behind him, I somehow regonised a doctor friend of a friend who also must’ve got wind that I was going to open my eyes at that particular moment.

I continued scanning round to the right – and there was a very strange sight – it was my brother wearing some sort of protective apron and appearing to be smiling – my brother doesn’t do smiling that well, but I am sure I detected it. And finally, close to me was a grinning B – also wearing the apron and grinning from ear to ear.

The first action I am aware of is Dr. P reaching into a bag of some kind and producing a photocopy of a photograph which he handed to my brother to give to me – I remember he said, “James gave me the this to give to you when you came round, I have no idea what it is but he said it would mean something to you.”

It wasn’t a high quality photocopy – and I wasn’t in a particularly high quality state of well-being – so I remember staring at it for what seemed like half an hour – though was probably one minute – till I realised it was a picture of Mark E Smith. (By now, if you don’t know who he is, it’s pobably best you keep it that way).

I only asked for a sponge to dab my lips!

So there it is, my doctor, my brother, my wife and Mark E Smith. I think an even more incongruous mix than The Cook The Thief His Wife and Her Lover.

The next thing I remember is my lips were so dry. Somebody directed B to pick something with a square sponge on a little stick dipped in water and dabbed onto my lips. (think 1970’s cocktail stick with square piece of cheddar on the end and you get the idea).


Another dab.

It’s all over David, youve come through it. You’re doing really well. Everyone’s really pleased.


Another dab.

We have to go now.

And so they step back walk away and remove their aprons.

NO. NO. NO. I muster all my energy – I raise my hand and summon my brother over. He has to put on another apron – and comes back. What do you want?


So he leans over and puts some incredibly complex contraption on to my chest and moves to walk away again – STOP!!!!!!!


What have you given me? What is this? What do I do?

I try and work it out – but it is way too complicated.

Y’see what it was that was put within my grasp – but that I couldn’t see – was the little tray with a tiny bit of water and the little cocktail sponge on it. The idea was that I could pick up the stick and place the sponge en into the water and dab my own lips. Pah! Just who do they take me for? David Blaine?

It was beyond my capabailities to work out just what it was in front of me and how to make it work – and I duly fell asleep.

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3 Comments on “Chopped Liver – Marquis Cha-Cha”

  1. Lee Baker Says:

    Well it sounds like your doing great, I have been home a week now and am trying to get some muscles on my skeletal frame. I now have an appointment for immunology to find out why my “M”blood cells are so low and to discuss the options of intravenous injection every 3 weeks or spike myself every week. Also I have to go back to Addenbrooks every month for a nebuliser treatment to keep the PCP in my lungs manageable. I walked down to a Doctors appointment yesterday a trip that normally takes 10minutes but I think I must have been abducted by an alien life-force as I didn’t arrive at the surgery until some 50 minutes later. Despite all that is going on I feel great, the best I have felt since my transplant in October. I know the more I walk the easier it will get I have been signed of for a further 2 months which is a nightmare as I am desperate to get back to work but I guess the need to get my Antibody manufacture back to normal first.
    This is a great blog and I think its a great resource for anyone who is about to have a transplant or who are on the list for one. You have made a blog that is easy to read, funny and informative at the same time, not an easy thing to accomplish. well done and thank you.

    • davidkallin Says:

      Lee – I feel humbled by your generous words. Thank you. You seem to be a bit more adventurous than me – other than my trip to the clinic I have not ventured out into the big bad germ-filled world – I guess I’ll start once I get rid of the T-tube bile bag attached to me- doesn’t look too pleasant – unless I can find matching hat and shoes!
      Enjoy your new life – every day a new adventure.

  2. Fiona Says:

    Hear hear Lee.

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