Posted tagged ‘birmingham’

Chopped Liver – 3’s The Magic Number

October 1, 2010

Hepababe called it right the other day in her comment on one of my posts – these things tend to come in threes.

Last Tuesday, I had a bad fall in the house – wow – if you could see the bruise still on that today – it’s pretty impressive – even if I, shucks, say it myself. I hurt my hand, my hip and thigh. The hand swelled up, the hip turned blue – but the thigh continued to cause serious pain and restricted movement i.e. I couldn’t really walk much.

Then on Saturday I fell in a hole on a grass verge, twisting my ankle, landing on my sore hand, and hip – and wrenching my aching thigh. Since then I have not been walking too good – the thigh pain has been pretty bad – but no bruising – and I’m, sure no break – otherwise… well y’know I just wouldn’t … y’know… let’s just I’d have felt it just a tad more.

Today was Birmingham. I went up as a passenger. The weather was outrageous – if you follow the Ryder Cup … or even the news – you’ll know just how bad the rain was today – try driving in it! Actually, try being a passenger in it! Whether I am a good driver or not is open to opinion – but I can tell you something for nothing – I am a bad passenger!

Got to the meeting on time. It was a long meeting – all day. It was good – a meeting at thebestof Head Office. Thankfully it was indoors – it was torrential outside the whole time. Then it was time to go home.

We went along the motorway, barely able to see in front of us. Let’s not go into too much detail here – except to say there was a shriek from me of “Watch OUT!!!”. Followed by a slamming of brakes. And then the inevitable BOOM from behind and I feel my body is jolted forward.

left a bit... right a bit.. yep - should do it.

We got lucky. Modern cars seem to be made with spring bumpers – and, incredibly, no damage seemed to be done – to the car behind, the car we were in, the driver or myself.

No wait… Oooohhhhh Aaaahhhhhh!!!! the pain in my thigh just seemed to succumb to an aftershock – and is now seriously bothering me. I have hurt it for the third, and I hope, final time.

And for the next half hour or so, I am gripping and pressing down on my thigh to try and relieve the pain – and then… as if by magic – the pain subsides – we arrive home – and I can walk again – without the pain.

I think – I hope I am not tempting fate – the third impact of the week has jarred my skeletal structure back into place – the pain I have been enduring all week has been due to the thigh-bone being out of alignment – and I needed two good ole bashes to click me back into place.

If that’s true – and I believe it is – how bizarre is this life of ours? I’m not 100% sure that one should need to endure a motorway crash to rectify all body pains – but hey, it worked for me!

By the way, I think I also may be one lucky bastard.

Now there… are 3…. steps to… carry a donor card – ooh, wap wap!
Just follow steps 1, 2 and 3.


Chopped Liver – Birmingham

September 30, 2010

Birmingham, Birmingham – Greatest city in… Alabam.

Yeh, s’far as I know – not many songs written about Birmingham, West Midlands.

Anyway, I’m supposed to be there tomorrow. Regional meeting of thebestof. Now, what are the chances of getting the call during the day tomorrow?

Well, there’s a couple of answers to that. One is the real, logical answer. The other is Sod’s Law. But, way I see it is – both are ok.

You see, logically – why should tomorrow be any different to the previous 200 days? Except that, there is more chance of me getting called tomorrow than any of the previous 200 – because, well – they’ve gone now, haven’t they?

And then there’s Sod’s Law. I get the call precisely because I am far away – but that’s fine too. I’m only going to be a couple of hours away. It would be fine – if a little traumatic – but I wouldn’t be driving.

Oh, I dunno. What do you think?

All I know is that 10 hours from now I will either be on my way or still tucked up in bed…. now there’s a thought.

Y’see I am still in a lot of pain from the couple of falls I had last week. The leg has finally come out in a fantastic – in a massive kinda way – big purple bruise. And my inner thigh aches like buggery – I really cant move around much at the moment – it’s ridiculous. I could have gone to the doc, I s’pose – but I didn’t. And I won’t tomorrow if I go to Birmingham. And that leaves it till Monday – by which time it should have started to ease or not – so I should know by then.

Now there… are 3…. steps to… carry a donor card – ooh, wap wap!
Just follow steps 1, 2 and 3.

Chopped Liver – Give ‘Em Enough Pope

September 18, 2010

Football is the religion of this country.

But the Pope is visiting us – and not many are really sure why.

It does however give me the opportunity for a couple of footy/Pope related anecdotes.

Firstly, Birmingham City hold a record unlikely to be equalled – they once went through the term of a Pope’s reign without winning a game.

I do like that fact. It is of course tempered by the fact that the Pope in question – I think he was Pope John Paul 1 – died after only about 40-odd days as the Pontiff, and during that time, I think it was in the late 70’s, Birmingham remained rooted to the foot of the old first division – and didn’t win a single game!

My second fact relates to QPR. The last time the Pope visited the UK was the last time QPR were promoted to the top flight! And there they are again – riding high in the second tier of English football – poised to gain promotion to the top flight!

Ain’t that so, Tony L?

Now there… are 3…. steps to… carry a donor card – ooh, wap wap!
Just follow steps 1, 2 and 3.