Posted tagged ‘ecg’

Chopped Liver – Two Hearts

December 3, 2010

A couple of months ago I had to go to the hospital for an Echocardiogram.

I don’t know why – I just do what I’m told.

And I did what I was told. I went to the appointment – an hour and a half round trip, a half hour wait, and a 5 minute checkup. They said all was ok.

A few weeks later, the liver transplant co-ordinator phoned me (that is a scary phone call, let me tell you) to ask me why I had not attended the appointment.

But… but… but…

It was no good – they didn’t have the results. They would have to arrange another one.

And so it was a couple of weeks later, I received an appointment for today at 11:30.

And so it was a few days later I received another appointment for the same procedure in the same place on the same day at the same time.

And so, today I turned up for my appointment. The doc said to me “I have to do the procedure twice because I have you down as having two appointments for the same procedure today”.

“What?” “You must be joking”

Ha! Ha! So this guy, right, he goes into a bar...

He was.

Just joking that is.

So I had the checkup – and guess what? All was ok.

Quelle waste of time.

Now there… are 3…. steps to… carry a donor card – ooh, wap wap!
Just follow steps 1, 2 and 3.

Chopped Liver – This Is A Call

October 27, 2010

There I was minding my own business, well, trying to get out to do business – and I am at a Business Networking meeting with 30 other peeps – when my phone goes… and it’s the Liver Coordinators.

Funnily enough, my first reaction is NOT – OMG this is it! What do I do? When do I panic? How do I panic? No, I was very calm. And they said to me… Did you attend youe ECG at the beginning of October?

Em, yes.

Oh, we have no note of it.

That’s it? What about this list thing? Am I just there to make up the numbers? How long could this go on?

Well, we monitor you every few months. You have an MRI coming up.

But this could go on for… months? Years?

Well, yes, it could.

Trouble is I felt rubbish last week, then took antibiotics and felt better, but now I feel rubbish again. And I can hear Sawbo et al yelling at me to go in and get my bloods done.

Now there… are 3…. steps to… carry a donor card – ooh, wap wap!
Just follow steps 1, 2 and 3.

Chopped Liver – Bach in the USSR

September 13, 2010

There is a fine line between between polar opposites. Love and Hate. Pleasure and Pain. Cause and Effect. Life and Death.

I needed to send out a mass email today to my contacts list to invite them to an event. One responder replied saying that regrettably Mr X passed away suddenly recently. What could I say to that? One day he is there attending networking events, the next he has passed away. And all this time he remains a contact in my list.

I suppose I should not have responded with – “So does that mean he won’t be attending?” in my reply. (*)

In the afternoon I had to go to the hospital for some sort of checkup. It was in the Cardiology unit. I assumed it was an ECG – just to check the state of my ticker – I don’t know why. So I arrived there at the appointed time – 15:45 to be precise. There was a woman in the line in front of me – she asked, have you any idea when my mother is going to be seen? She has been here since 10 o’clock this morning. Ah, us Brits. You couldn’t make us up. “You could die down here – be just another accident statistic.” (Sorry, I am in a bit of a flippant mood – I only put that previous sentence in as it is a Bob lyric – from the classic and much overlooked “Slow Train”).

So, after a few minutes, I was called in for my examination. “Have you had one of these before?” I was asked. “Ha! Have I what? Hey, you name it, I’ve had it”, I retorted. “Ok, well this is to test the pressure on your lungs”. It tests the the flow of blood from your heart into your lungs – or the air from your lungs into your heart – or something like that – I haven’t got a clue really. All, I know is that if it measured the pressure of the device thingy he used to press down on my ribs then it would have registered pain and awkward discomfort. (on a fairly mild scale I’ll have you know – in fact I probably should not have mentioned it all – wimp that I am).

“OK, that’s all normal – you’re free to go”.

“Oh. Sound. Righty-ho. I’ll get me coat”

On the way home I get to the platform with my iPhone-cum-iPod pinned to my ears (natch) – and I’m listening to one of the 843 songs I have in Shuffle mode. I’m standing on the the platform in front of one of the maps. This old-ish geeza comes up to me and says something to me. I guess he is asking me to move out the way so he could read the map. So I move out of the way so he could read the map.

Hey, this is London – I wouldn’t want to risk talking to him now would I? But, hang on, he is still on my case – moving his lips at me again. Finally. Reluctantly – I pause the music. I do not remove the phones from my ears (natch).

“Pardon?”

“Is thahdbachjucbeethovfknsdgkm?

“I’m sorry?”

The poor man – now, for a fourth time has to say what he may have regretted saying the first time.

“Is that Bach or Beethoven you’re listening to?” – followed by a grin.

At this point I am bound to say exactly what song is on shuffle at that precise moment in time. “No, it’s the Smashing Pumpkins”. I replied.

Get Bach!


“I’m sure they’re good”, he said.

“Yeah”.

Awkward silence.

Train approaching.

Me – board train – left side.

He – board train – right side.

That little exchange says more about the city of London than about the individuals involved.

I think.

Unless – maybe I am the cause and not the symptom?

Another time – another blog.

Now there… are 3…. steps to… carry a donor card – ooh, wap wap!
Just follow steps 1, 2 and 3.

(*) C’mon… as if