Posted tagged ‘elvis costello’

Chopped Liver – Green Shirt

June 29, 2011

Hi Guys, sorry it’s been so long – it’s not that I haven’t had anything to write about – all is much the same as before.

But I was having a business meeting today, thankfully with someone I knew very well – although that was only because the client who I have never met, failed to show for an earlier appointment. So anyway we were sitting talking – ’bout business an’ that – when all of a sudden he says to me…

“you seem to be bleeding”!

It’s not a phrase one particularly likes hearing – it’s not one I recall ever hearing – but I heard it today. So I look down at my shirt inside my suit jacket (see? smart boy, too!) and there it is – covered with dark red fresh blood (yes, I know blood usually is dark red – but I called this post Green Shirt, after the Elvis song, no not that Elvis, it wasn’t the colour of the shirt he wore when he was conscripted into the U.S. army, no, not his army shirt at all, plonker, the other Elvis, Costello, from his album… eh, Armed Forces (oh, maybe it was an army shirt after all) – and it was called Green Shirt, but not Red Shirt as would have befitted what I saw as I stared down earlier today – gosh this is getting confusing).

Trouble was I had to go straight to school to pick up wee D and I didn’t have time to go home and sort myself out – what I did was, I got a piece of cloth (that wot i use to clean the car window with) and stuffed halfway down my trousers so that it was sticking up and creating soft absorbent barrier to prevent any blood spoiling my jacket. I closed my jacket – nobody ever closes their suit jacket – well, I dont anyway – but today I did.

So there I was going into the school playground on a very warm day dressed in a dark grey suit, jacket closed and shades. I looked a proper spiv. And guess what? All the mums said – ooh David you look smart today. Needless to say I scarpered with a faint a smile before they got too close.

And when I finally got home – goremongers, this is for you – I undressed (no, not that bit, goremongers), and found that the offending area of my torso that was bleeding was not as I had suspected – my seeping scar – no, it was the area that earlier in the day – as in 6 hours earlier – I had injected myself with Tinzaparin – and it is still bleeding!

And my Warfarin dosage has gone up yet again – to 7 mg – the reason being that my blood is too thick and too likely to clot.

Now you try and figure all that out – I am at a loss. I have to be guided by the experts, but something doesn’t seem quite right – it doesn’t appear that I am clotting easily at all – as my shirt would testify – but I am taking ever-increasing dosages of meds to prevent me clotting.


Chopped Liver – Radio Radio

March 13, 2011

Best day so far.

Alright, so maybe that’s not saying too much. I did not run a marathon. I did not walk to the local park. I did not leave the house.

But, I have not been in any pain or discomfort. I have had my daily visit from the District Nurse to dress my wound – she said it’s coming along very nicely.

I have been up all day – in fact I had a bath – B washed my hair – I got dressed – none of this lazing around in jim-jams looking every bit the patient I am – No, I am feeling stronger and am starting to look a bit more normal – alright I need filling out – I still look a bit scrawny – but I’ll get my weight back on slowly and surely.

And then my niece and her man – Pheebox and Howbox popped round to visit – and they, along with Soapbox and Stevebox, and Bro’box and Sis-in-law-box got me the most perfect present – a beautiful DAB radio to help me listen to BBC6 Music all day along. It’s not often you receive a gift where you don’t have to pretend how happy you are to receive it. Oh, and it already plays The Fall.

I wonder if it had anything to do with me going on about how I’ve been enjoying listening to BBC6Music on my iPhone – so they kinda knew what I’d like.

Pssst... wanna see my new Lexuscar?

By the way, there’s a new Lexus I’ve seen advertised – quietest car ever and totally green – or something like that – looks brilliant – and anyway, I should have a Lexus Car to match my Lexus Scar.

(Right, we’ll see if anyone takes the bait on that one).

Chopped Liver – Watch Your Step

December 23, 2010

Weedy and B are struggling a bit with the weather. The temperature their thermometer is showing is close to ours – except that they are on the Centigrade scale while we are on Fahrenheit – and they are finding it a bit too hot.

Hey, it's quicker if I just slide down here

I ventured out to the local shops this afternoon. Wow – biting cold. The snow/ice is treacherous now. I have my iPod (iPhone, really) on and listening to my fave tunes on shuffle. Watch Your Step by Elvis Costello came on. I slipped on the ice.

A humorous moment – between me and myself. (*)

I later went out to Sainsbury’s to do a pre-Xmas shop – not that I needed much but I knew shops would be closed for a few days soon so best stock up. Some would say it was folly to go anywhere near a supermarket so close to Xmas – but, bizarrely, it was not busy at all. I went in, did a bit of shopping, and did not need to queue at all at the till. Shimples.

(*) and my iPhone

Now there… are 3…. steps to… carry a donor card – ooh, wap wap!
Just follow steps 1, 2 and 3.

Chopped Liver – Watch Your Step

December 10, 2010

Family down this weekend.

It’s great for my arithmetic.

The amount of times I have to count to 10.

Still, I am sure its reciprocated.

Right – back into the kitchen… where I belong.

Now there… are 3…. steps to… carry a donor card – ooh, wap wap!
Just follow steps 1, 2 and 3.