Posted tagged ‘endoscopy’

Chopped Liver – It’s All Over Now

June 15, 2011

Today was a landmark day. In truth, I’ve had many landmark days this year, but I particularly like this one.

You may recall the saga of my T-tube (bile-bag) which simply didn’t want to come out despite multiple attempts. Well, as you know it finally gave up the battle a month ago, although not without a fight – and that fight resulted in me spending a day in casualty followed by 4 days as an inpatient.

All that as a result of complications following an endoscopy. In that endoscopy, the doc inserted a stent to effectively seal the area around my liver that produces the bile. And that stent had to be removed a month later by another endoscopy procedure. Well that event was today.

I was getting so blase about these procedures that I barely told anyone beforehand that I was having it – my mum still doesn’t know that I was due to have or even, as yet, that I have had it. And so it was today that I turned up for the main event.

Nurse came to administer the trusty cannula – I was even getting a bit blase about that too – but that soon dissipated as she struggled to find a vein that would receive the needle. I told her where to stick it – if you get my meaning – and she succumbed and in it went. I was expecting to be so sedated during the procedure that I would feel a thing, but as it turned out I was conscious of me wretching throughout the procedure, which, in truth, lasted only a few minutes.

I really don’t know what they do with this probe they stick down me – how exactly they insert and remove stents etc, but they do do it – and today they did do it.

I came home afterwards, and crashed out on the bed – for a good 4 hours – but now i am in the realisation that, for all intents and purposed, that is it!

My liver transplant is finally complete.

I think that’s worth repeating.

My liver transplant is finally complete.

I have no alien parts sticking in, sticking out – except of course my new liver, which so far I have formed a beautiful relationship with.

So, save for the mountain of drugs that I still have to take, I am effectively done.

Close the book.

Close the blog?

I like the blog. We’ll see.


Chopped Liver – And It Stoned Me

May 7, 2011

You may have surmised from the lack of a health report in recent posts that all is going well with my recovery following my Liver Transplant way back in the dim and distant past of almost three months ago. And you would have surmised correctly.

My wound is all but healed. The nurse will make a decision early this week as to whether I will be discharged from their visits – nothing much for them to dress anymore.

Which means that my bile-bag attachment will have been in situ longer than it took my gaping wound to completely heal. It should have been removed after about three weeks.

This is a big week for me in addition to my healing wound I have an appointment on Wednesday to undergo my third attempt at an endoscopy to remove my attachment. I will doubtless be a bit nervous about this event as I certainly don’t want to wake from my drowsy slumber following the endoscopy to find that it is still in place. I have to come off Warfarin from today, go to the hospital on Monday morning for a blood test to see the level of my INR before they decide that I can start my course of Tinzaparin injections prior to the procedure on Wednesday.

Away from my health, I have been with my son at home all week as he has had a bad cold and off school. I’ve taught him how to play Chess and he has taught me Mahjong. And he wanted to read my Chopped Liver blogs going back some days and weeks – of course I didn’t mind doing this, although with some trepidation as I couldn’t remember which, if any of my posts, were for adult eyes only.

Anyway, he really enjoyed them, and laughed in many of the right places too, so at least I have found someone who appreciates my humour. However he did query as to my spelling of the boy’s name Weedy. I said it’s because you’re Wee D. I’m Big D and you’re wee D. So he said, why don’t you spell it “Wee D” then and not Weedy?

Y’know son, I think you’re right – from now on you’re going to be Wee D. Unless I am still writing this when you have grown taller than me, in which case we may have to rethink.

And also, Dad, you shouldn’t start a sentence with “And”. Ok, son – I don’t need to be told how to write a bleedin’ blog, got me? So, get back to your homework – oh, and don’t you start any sentences with “And”.

Chopped Liver – Reasons To Be Cheerful, Part III

April 6, 2011

Part I – I’ve had a liver transplant – successful too – my eyes are white!

Part II – I’ve got a loving wife and son – they care about me and I care about them – ’nuff said.

Part III – Aw c’mon, this is getting tough – look I’m still fed up over Monday’s unsuccessful endoscopy to remove my T-Tube. Another attempt is being rescheduled for May 17th – that is a long time.

A long time to have the inconvenience – but that’s not the end of the world.

But it is a long time to face the uncertainty – I mean they tried to access my T-Tube 4 times on Monday but couldn’t – so why should they be able to do it on May 17th? What will be different?

(Don’t even think about the 1 in 500).

And what are the alternatives? I have no idea. Except to use my powers of Guesstimation. That is, if they cant access it from within, then they will have to access it from… well, from outside! Another operation?

You see, I’m guessin’ – and guessin’ ain’t good. But this is going to pray on me now for the next 5-6 weeks – only natural.

And while I’m in doom & gloom mode – why not discuss this 1 in 500 die following an endoscopy statistic that is printed in the literature you are presented with as light reading matter. Now 500-1 shots do not normally come up – unless you’re on it each way but I’m not sure how that translates in this case. But let’s assume that this statistic is bourne out of the fact that for every 500 endoscopies performed every day? week? around the country – look, I know I said this in my previous post but it is an incredible statistic, is it not? There simply must be 500 done every week in this country alone – but I cant believe… ok enough – I’ve said it once – indeed I’ve said it twice – I’m only repeating it for the gore-mongers out there who were getting a bit bored with my “Everything’s Alright” blogs – that should leave you something to chew on – or indeed, to gore!

Chopped liver – Down In The Tube…

April 4, 2011

no not Station at Midnight – just Down in the Tube. T-Tube to be exact.

A recap: About 3 weeks ago I turned up for an endoscopy to remove my attachment – my bag o’ bile – there really is no nice way of describing it – it’s a bag o’ bile. I was really looking forward to having it removed as it was causing me serious discomfort – itchy, painful (especially when the dressing is changed due to one of the stitches), and gunk-oozing. It was also restricting my movement – slowing me down and just generally, y’know getting me down. Not to mention the sheer inconvenience of having it under my clothes and having to empty it all the time.

Anyway, not to worry – it was coming out – 3 weeks ago.

Except, as you know, it didn’t come out – due to my high INR levels – too risky – internal bleeding an’ all that.

So, unfortunately, had to reschedule another endoscopy for a few weeks down the line – till Monday 4th April to be precise. I mentally adjusted myself to this fact – and counted the days down. Listen I have had other, more serious, setbacks recently but have overcome them.

Today is that day. Endoscopy booked for 14:30 – which means no food/drink after 8am.

All running on time – I am duly called in, read the risks (1 in 500 result in death – 1 in 500???? What the heck does that mean? For every 500 endoscopies they do around the country, one person doesn’t make it through? That must be easily one a week – it’s an epidemic!), given my obligatory cannula, had my throat sprayed with vile anaesthetic, had the wretch-inducing tube (with attached Swiss Army knife) stuck down and then – ahhh… blissfully off to sleep.

To sleep.

Perchance to dream.

To dream about life without that feckin’ attachment.

Some chance.

I awake from my slumber to find that following multiple attempts they could not reach the point where my tube is attached – and they had to abandon ship.

A new attempt is schedule for another month down the line.

Another month.

And then what? Same again? Same risks (I’ll have done 500 all on my own by the end – yikes) and what chance the same conclusion?

Look, I know, it’s just another hurdle to overcome. It’s an inconvenience – no more, no less.

I am still doing fine – all things considered – and assuming they can locate the tube sometime in the future, I will look back on this as… actually I may even have forgotten about it.

Chopped Liver – Bloody Well Right

April 3, 2011

Have to confess I haven’t heard that song since I was a schoolboy. I think I even thought it was a bit risky (risk-ay) and hid it from my parents – my little secret having a record with a swear word on it. I’d be interested in hearing the Crime of the Century album in its entirety again – I know Supertramp became a hideous radio-friendly safe AOR American-audience type sell-out bunch of sheisters who made gazillions – but I have a recollection that this early effort of theirs was pretty good – but I was very young and had no taste (unlike now – where I am very old and have no taste).

Anyway I use the title for the blood connection. Tomorrow is my scheduled ERCP to finally (hopefully) remove my attachment. Last time out, pop-pickers, you may remember they aborted the mission due to my INR blood levels being way too high – so to prepare myself for tomorrow I have been on a plan – a bridging plan – to try and ensure my clotting levels are right for the procedure.

I stopped Warfarin last Wednesday. Went 3 days of abstension followed by 2 days of Heparin injections leading up to tomorrow.

As of this weekend – well yesterday my wound was so painful I couldn’t even go on my pathetically short walk – I tried it – but turned back. The nausea was still there, but maybe slightly easier.

Today – much better. Went on my longer walk – felt good. The nausea again was slightly easier – though not gone completely.

Anyway, endoscopy tomorrow. I think maybe even @drobeirne may be doing it. If he is I must remember to tell him that the district nurse has spotted a couple of transparent stitches on my wound that perhaps should have dissolved but haven’t – and quite how she spotted them if they are indeed transparent I’ll never know – anyway maybe @drobeirne is reading this so he’ll know anyway.

Oh I do so hate the bit when they stick the tube down – must try and remember @sawbofeller method – something like sticking the 3rd finger of left hand inside the right ear, crossing legs 3 times and shouting Whoputthebompinthebompshoobompshoobomp as loud as possible.

Chopped Liver – C.R.E.E.P

March 17, 2011

Well I like that title – even though probably only @drobeirne and @markEChaCha will get it.

Y’see today was E.R.C.P. day.


This is a long tube thing pushed down the throat that has a camera and a Swiss Army knife on the end. They don’t know what they might find when the probe down so they need to equal themselves with all the features of said knife – just in case (though I can’t imagine they have a need for the toothpick).

So this morning I was Nil By Mouth as I made my to the ‘ossy where they took my blood and fitted a cannula (that please you gore-mongers?) and I waited till they got the results before being admitted I’m to start the procedure.

You usually gag when the tube is inserted so I had prepared a particularly funny gag!

But then the doc who was go perform the procedure came up to me and announced that after checking my bloods they found that my clotting levels were at too dangerous a level – so performing the ERCP would create a high risk of internal bleeding and that under no circumstances at all would they even think about risking it.

So operation aborted. Bile bag still in situ – for another couple of weeks or so – and another day where I have learned just how sensitive the complete makeup of the body is – everything has to be spot on otherwise potential great dangers lurks.

Chopped Liver – Prove It

March 16, 2011


Earlier on today I re-read some of the posts I wrote from when I did them on my iPhone in the hospital – and was shocked to see so many typos, missing words, wrong words – it’s a wonder you guys had a clue what I was on about.

Now if only I knew of a proofreader I would have been sorted…. one might have thought.

So what to call this post? I immediately thought of a song I hadn’t heard in years – Prove It by the classic CBGB’s band Television. And then literally 5 minutes ago Steve Lamacq on BBC6Music played that very song – spooky spooky spooky. But it does give me the opportunity to say, what a phenomenal debut album Marquee Moon is – an album that delivered so much and … promised so much for the future, but get this, I put it to you that never has a band promised so much from a debut album yet failed to follow it up so spectactularly. Everything that followed Marquee Moon was second rate, third rate twaddle.

Ok Stone Roses first album fans may be screaming – Second Coming anyone? And I may have to doff my cap to you on that.

Now, I have a bone to pick on you guys. Well, not you actually cos you are actually reading this, but a number of my readers who are, well, not reading anymore. I know my recent posts have been a bit mundane, a bit lacking in excitement, lacking in blood and gore, euphoria and disappointment – I am fast becoming an ordinary person (see yesterday’s post) who once had a liver transplant but who has nothing further of interest to report.

You are like Grand Prix spectators that’s what you are. Formula 1 is dreadfully boring – unless there are spectactular crashes. As it’s live, it gets great audiences cos we wouldn’t want to miss seeing the cars flying through the air and landing on the roll-bar and rolling 50 times into oncoming traffic.

Well get this gore fans. Tomorrow I have an ERCP. That stands for … eh… stands for eh… Endoscopy. So tomorrow I have to go to the hospital where they will stick this tube down my throat and then, bizarrely, disconnect the bile-bag I have been attached to since my operation. Endoscopies are not pleasant, gore fans – you’ll like it – there will be gagging, discomfort, much drowsiness – maybe enough to bring some of you back.

So, there you have it – tell all your friends there is a chance of trauma tomorrow.