Posted tagged ‘israel’

Chopped Liver – The Israelites

January 28, 2011

Politics and sport – never easy bed-fellows.

Usually the problem lies with the feelings of one nation boycotting some tournament or other as it wants to make a political statement.

But, there are a couple of events on the horizon that are certainly going to throw the cat out of the window – hang on that cannot be the expression – something to do with cats and pigeons more like.

We all know that Qatar have been awarded (I use that phrase advisedly) the 2022 Football World Cup. So what does a nation like Israel – well, in fact, let’s say what does Israel do about that?

Easy really. They either don’t qualify for the finals so it is not an issue (easily arranged), or they do qualify and they can go or not go – up to them.

But now what’s happened is that Israel – as in the country – has been awarded the Under 21’s football tournament in June 2013. This is a very prestiguous event – showcasing the stars of the future and televised live around the world.

Now, with football being such a global sport, there will be many footballers scheduled to appear for their countries who will either not want to appear at all for political reasons, or, more likely, they will not be allowed to appear by order of their respective countries’ leaders.

Any participants who do appear against the will of their homelands may be subject to – whatever sanctions imposed by their own countries either lawfully or unlawfully. Egyptians seeking political asylum in Israel – anyone?

Some under 21’s with no political agenda

I applaud UEFA, football’s European governing body, in ignoring politics and offering the event to a nation as worthy of hosting such an event as Qatar will be in 2022. And I see this as a watershed for the region.

If quarrelling nations can put aside their differences for the good of sport then what a result that would be – Brian.

Football is often referred to as the great leveller – well, it will soon be put to its sternest test.

Now there… are 3…. steps to… carry a donor card – ooh, wap wap!
Just follow steps 1, 2 and 3.</a

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Chopped Liver – Into My Arms

January 4, 2011

B and Weedy have made it home from their delayed flight yesterday. My poor wee 6 yr-old was up for over 14 hours with the ordeal – he’s already back at school and probably falling asleep at a desk near you.

I can’t describe the joy and pride you feel receiving a little boy running up to you with the face of uncontrolled happiness as was the case yesterday when we were reunited.

So I wont.

And a lovely big hug from B too – you know the pleasure you get from meeting up again makes you feel they should go away more often!

It’s a joke.

I said – it’s a joke!

Honestly, you gotta be so careful what you say,

So, as I am not going to describe the cuteness of my little boy – I shall replace it with something almost as cute – this is a video of The Cat in the Mac Bag – it’s quite good, really.

Now there… are 3…. steps to… carry a donor card – ooh, wap wap!
Just follow steps

Chopped Liver – Alone Again, Naturally

December 22, 2010

Naturally, it could’ve been Alone Again Or or Alone Again Naturally but I chose Naturally.

Primarily, as I have never before started and ended a sentence with Naturally, correctly – naturally.

The point is that B and Weedy have landed – and will be experiencing weather close to 25 degrees higher than what they have left.

The road to Heathrow was a doddle. We arrived early – and that is early by El Al standards – 4 hours rather than the obligatory 3. The check-in hall was clear. You might think that was a good thing – in fact it was most frustrating – as we were not allowed to enter for fear of congestion. No fear of congestion from where I looked – it was empty.

So we were cattled across the road to a massive marquee where we were informed that free tea and coffee woould be provided – yeah right – as if we could get close to it. No, we had to stand in the smoke-polluted freezing cold – where everyone stood.(*) (**)

We were told that we may be there for 2 hours. That was the cue, after 20 minutes for us to get the “EL AL passenegrs only” call. As B said – it must leave on time and there must be the customary stringent security checks.

In fact, as I waited till B had checked in her suitcase, a heavily armed security guard approached me to enquire as to my reason for hanging around the El Al queue. “Ah, y’see sir, my wife, y’see, she’s bin laden with her case an’ all”.

No, I did not say that.

And so I am home alone for the next 11 days – hoping more than ever that I don’t get that call. They need a holiday.

And so do I!

(*) Obscure and somewhat contrived Dylan reference
(*) Well, it tickled me, anyway

Now there… are 3…. steps to… carry a donor card – ooh, wap wap!
Just follow steps 1, 2 and 3.

Chopped Liver – My Little Runaway

December 21, 2010

It’s the night before the morning …whatever.

I presume my family are flying off from Heathrow tomorrow – noone has said otherwise so we will head off tomorrow to the airport – fully intending for B and Weedy to take off.

I’ll miss them.

If I get the call while they’re away – we’ll see how quickly they can get back. But, hey, they need a holiday – I’ve covered all that before – at least they’ll get a bit of sun, see their (grand)parents and generally have a break.

And I have a number of activities lined up – so everything’s cool.

Listen, if B wants to find out how things are going back home – she only has to read my bleedin’ blog!

Now there… are 3…. steps to… carry a donor card – ooh, wap wap!
Just follow steps 1, 2 and 3.

Chopped Liver – One Day They’ll Fly Away

December 20, 2010

Normally around this time B, Weedy and I head off to Israel to stay with my in-laws – get a bit of sun – and laugh at the misfortunes of those left back home.

I’m reminded of a classic line from Bob Monkhouse – he said “Everyone laughed at me when I told them I was going to be a comedian – HA! They’re not laughing now!”

And nobody’s laughing here either. Not least because the schools are closed and I am home alone “entertaining” my son and his friend. Reminds me of another line – “Come over, I’m entertaining this Xmas?” To which I reply, “Listen darling, you have never been entertaining!”

Hi B, You just relax - don't worry about me!


But my family (sans moi) are due to fly out on Wednesday from Heathrow for the best part of 2 weeks. Maybe I shouldn’t say the “best” part – only land me in trouble – but who knows if they’ll get away?

I have plans y’see. They involve a fair amount of lie-ins plus a number of eat-outs – out of the kindness of family and friends – and right now these plans – especially the lie-ins bit are potentially up in the air.

Lie-ins up in the air are somewhat hazardous, by the way, especially for one with vertigo.

Obviously if they don’t get away AND I do get the call, then it will have been a fated blessing – but I am back to believing that the call is not going to happen in the near future – it’s hard y’know, keeping myself in a constant state of anticipation, expectation, trepidation etc so sometimes I just put it out of my mind – until I realise I have to write a blog called Chopped Liver.

Now there… are 3…. steps to… carry a donor card – ooh, wap wap!
Just follow steps 1, 2 and 3.

Chopped Liver – Stick It Up

December 13, 2010

Aw, Fiona – It’s just not fair. You can’t tell me a joke and insist that I blog it!

I’m not a Blog DJ y’know.

Besides I barely remember the joke. In fact it wasn’t even a joke. It was more a funny remark.

If memory serves it was something about someone I know being asked to take out some provisions from this country to some 3rd-world country where they are obviously way too difficult to find. Medical supplies it was.

Ok, I’ll be more specific.

Suppositories.

What looks suspicious about this?

Now, with the country in question being one of the more volatile in the world… ok, in the middle east. Ok, the most volatile in the middle east and therefore arguably the most volatile country in the world.

And the one that is hardest of all to smuggle anything into – or even out of. The security checks are stringent. So the question arose – how do you take suppositories past such security without raising suspicions?

Stick them up your…

Arsenal lost tonight. Strange old season this, as soon as any team gets to the top they seem to get vertigo and lose their next game. 3 teams have been top of the league this weekend alone!

I once got vertigo climbing a mountain in Scotland. The mist descended. I looked around and didn’t know vertigo.

Now there… are 3…. steps to… carry a donor card – ooh, wap wap!
Just follow steps 1, 2 and 3.

Chopped Liver – Eat It

November 12, 2010

So much for me not waiting for my MRI scan results – they still have not contacted me with any news – maybe it’s too early. We kinda needed to know today, ‘cos the travel agent lady is holding tickets for B and Weedy to go away at the end of December for 10 or 11 days to Israel.

We go every year – B’s parents live there. I don’t feel like going this year – wouldn’t be right. But I feel it’s important for t’other two to go – Weedy needs a holiday, needs to see his grandparents and B the same. Listen, we can’t all put our lives on hold – this situation could go on for ages. ‘Course if I get called before then, well that’s a different story.

Look, it’s highly unlikely I will be called in between Xmas and New Year – hell, I wouldn’t want one of those livers anyway – they’ll be soaked in a month’s worth of office parties. But if I do get called, then they’ll come back on the next flight and be with me before I am even out of ITU.

I don’t feel like going for a couple of reasons – I don’t want to come off the list but also, I just don’t feel quite right at the moment – take today for example – I had a healthy lunch with a friend – but as each hour has gone by since, I have been feeling more and more unsettled and bloated. It’s nearly dinner time now – and I couldn’t even face eating a “waffer-thin” crisp. So I’ve cancelled my dinner order.

waffer-thin?

I am generally not into my food these days. Nothing excites me. I eat too much and I feel ill. I eat too little and I feel hungry. I go to bed and feel I have to sit upright. I wake up feeling discomfort in my oesophagus region – I think that’s a Greek island – very windy.

I tell you what – when I finally get this liver transplant – these symptoms better disappear – otherwise, what’s the point?

Now there… are 3…. steps to… carry a donor card – ooh, wap wap!
Just follow steps 1, 2 and 3.