Posted tagged ‘john lennon’

Chopped Liver – Imagine

December 9, 2010

Just imagine.

Imagine what might have been. What could have been.

What will never be.

There is a story that goes around my family that may be based on whole truths, but I suspect may have had more than a touch of dramatic irony attached to it.

My father ran an opticians shop in Allerton Road in Liverpool very near to Penny Lane. There is a code amongst opticians that when an opticians’ closes down for whatever reason, the nearest one receives all the records of that business.

Any record from a patient that has not been updated for, say, five years gets thrown out – the assumption being (rightly or wrongly) that the patient is no longer active in the area – so let’s not waste time on inactive patients. Yes, there is an arguement to say that these are potentially the very people who should be contacted again – but that argument is not for this post.

No, the point of this post is that my father received all the patients’ records from a local optician back in the early 80’s. The optician had recently died and had been based right at the top of Penny Lane itself.

And so my father meticulously went through all the files and discarded any that were over 5 years old.

He found the childhood records of a Master John Lennon and declared – “Well, he’s dead, he won’t be needing this any more” and promptly threw it out.

And out went the prescription of arguably the most famous glasses wearer the world had ever known.

Just Imagine.

Imagine no possessions

Now, perhaps I should re-state what I said earlier. Some of this story is absolutely true (the local optician dying and my father taking over the records). But some of it cannot be proven (the juicy bits – like him finding the prescription for a start).

I suppose I should point out also, that John Lennon did not actually live in (or that close to) Penny Lane so the chances of his records being in that opticians’ practice anyway would have been slim.

But why let the facts get in the way of a good story?

What must be true is that somewhere in Liverpool, an optician would have had, or still has, the optical records and prescription of the most famous glasses wearer the world has known – and they may, or may not, realise this – or may not have even noticed it when they cleared out their old records.

Just imagine.

Now there… are 3…. steps to… carry a donor card – ooh, wap wap!
Just follow steps 1, 2 and 3.


Chopped Liver – Power To The People

October 16, 2010

As many of you know, Weedy (as in wee D) is my 6-year old son.

Last week his class was told that, over the coming 30 or so weeks, they each have to pick a subject and present a Powerpoint presentation to the class.

I repeat. My son is 6 years old.

But he is MY son – and my son knows how to use a computer. He knows how to study tube maps, road maps, bus maps and he has a fine penchant for downloading viruses and trojans, that I can’t for the life of me get rid of. Yet.

So, asks the teacher, who would like to be first? Up shot Weedy’s hand. Excellent Weedy, declares the teacher. Ok, she didn’t call him Weedy – she’d have probably been hauled up in front of the RSPCC if she had. I for one, would certainly have complained – after all, it’s only me who is allowed to call him that.

And what is your chosen subject?

What a question! How long, exactly, has she known him – to have to ask… I dunno… I worry about the observational powers of teachers today.

Eh, The London Underground, miss.

And would that be the pan-European student activist movement that brought industry to its knees in 1968?

No Miss, that’s the trains wot go under the ground, Miss.

So, Weedy, with a little help form Daddy, set about preparing a 10-screen

tunnel vision

Powerpoint presentation which he gave to the class yesterday – and by all accounts – to great acclaim.

Well done, Boy. My only issue was that I was not there to see it – or even that it wasn’t filmed. I mean if you are going to go all hi-tech with the kids, then come on – a little £100 Flip camera would not have gone amiss surely?

Now there… are 3…. steps to… carry a donor card – ooh, wap wap!
Just follow steps 1, 2 and 3.