Posted tagged ‘liverpool’

Chopped Liver – Down The Dip

January 31, 2011

I went to the supermarket today to get some Hummus and Guacamole – but you know what, they were cleaned out. This is the start of the double-dip recession.

And today was the final day of the footy transfer window – that mindless aberration invented by the mindless football governing bodies, that helps absolutely no-one except those lovable agents.

So, in this period of recession, how much money was spent during the window? Over 200 million squid -for what? To change the colours of some players shirts and upset thousands of footy fans around the world.

At the end of the day, who really cares?

Hell, I’d take it if they offered it to me. So, don’t blame the players. It’s just down to the principles of basic econmics – supply and demand. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Now there… are 3…. steps to… carry a donor card – ooh, wap wap!
Just follow steps

Chopped Liver – Losing My Religion

January 7, 2011

You will have heard of the recent tragic accident that took the life former Liverpool and Rangers footballer, Avi Cohen.

Well, a storm has erupted over the the use of his organs.

Y’see, Avi carried a donor card. Avi’s family were in support of his organs being used to help save the lives of others.

However, religious ministers put the kybosh on it all. The reason? Well, medical science has advanced, as it is bound to, where religious dictat has stayed in the dark ages.

We are now able to keep bodies alive by the use of life support machines to give the patient the greatest chance of survival whilst there is still the minutest possibility of hope. It is the advancement of medical science that has enabled us to do this – however, as a result of this, we can prolong the “life” of patients by maintaining blood flow through the vital organs – even though scientific knowledge tells us when the body is clinically dead and cannot be reversed – in short, switch off the machine and the patient dies.

But our religious leaders seem happy to accept the fact that science can intervene to keep bodies “alive” but do not accept it when science informs us that the body is clinically dead – when scientific evidence declares a body clinically dead – they are, for all intents and purposes, dead.

However, the act of switching off the machine, thereby stopping the blood flow, has been likened by religious leaders as akin to murder. These are ignorant people who mislead their followers into believing they can bring brain-dead people back to life – they do not have the capacity, in my view, to make that judgement – and even if they did, science will prove them wrong.

I say, let the religious leaders do what they do best and let medical science do what it does best. If you don’t like the consequences of medical advancement then don’t accept its benefits – stay in the dark ages and let those who have real faith – faith in medical science – have the opportunity to either extend their own lives or provide the rest of us with hope.

Just as an addendum – the shortage of available organs within religious communities has led to an increase in the black market trade of such organs – now where exactly in religious doctrine is that practice acceptable?

Postscript: On re-reading this post prior to publication of this diary I have felt it necessary to re-evaluate my view on this topic. It was following a discussion with my good friend Abraham, an orthodox Jew, who put it this way (*).

Scientific fact is only fact as we know it today. Tomorrow, however, science may discover new ways of keeping people alive when initially pronounced clinically dead. So, continue with medical scientific advancement to improve the welfare for all, but don’t assume that you have the facts at any given point in time.

With this in mind, I find myself sympathetic to that viewpoint.

(*) Abraham, I hope I have represented your view accurately, and thank you for your honesty and insight.

Now there… are 3…. steps to… carry a donor card – ooh, wap wap!
Just follow steps

Chopped Liver – Imagine

December 9, 2010

Just imagine.

Imagine what might have been. What could have been.

What will never be.

There is a story that goes around my family that may be based on whole truths, but I suspect may have had more than a touch of dramatic irony attached to it.

My father ran an opticians shop in Allerton Road in Liverpool very near to Penny Lane. There is a code amongst opticians that when an opticians’ closes down for whatever reason, the nearest one receives all the records of that business.

Any record from a patient that has not been updated for, say, five years gets thrown out – the assumption being (rightly or wrongly) that the patient is no longer active in the area – so let’s not waste time on inactive patients. Yes, there is an arguement to say that these are potentially the very people who should be contacted again – but that argument is not for this post.

No, the point of this post is that my father received all the patients’ records from a local optician back in the early 80’s. The optician had recently died and had been based right at the top of Penny Lane itself.

And so my father meticulously went through all the files and discarded any that were over 5 years old.

He found the childhood records of a Master John Lennon and declared – “Well, he’s dead, he won’t be needing this any more” and promptly threw it out.

And out went the prescription of arguably the most famous glasses wearer the world had ever known.

Just Imagine.

Imagine no possessions

Now, perhaps I should re-state what I said earlier. Some of this story is absolutely true (the local optician dying and my father taking over the records). But some of it cannot be proven (the juicy bits – like him finding the prescription for a start).

I suppose I should point out also, that John Lennon did not actually live in (or that close to) Penny Lane so the chances of his records being in that opticians’ practice anyway would have been slim.

But why let the facts get in the way of a good story?

What must be true is that somewhere in Liverpool, an optician would have had, or still has, the optical records and prescription of the most famous glasses wearer the world has known – and they may, or may not, realise this – or may not have even noticed it when they cleared out their old records.

Just imagine.

Now there… are 3…. steps to… carry a donor card – ooh, wap wap!
Just follow steps 1, 2 and 3.

Chopped Liver – Sexual Ealing

September 23, 2010

I know you’re all eager to know how it’s all going here.

Well, contrary to Denise’s expectations, I have not turned a darker shade of blue (must be a song title in there shurely?) (and don’t call me shurley – yeh yeh – the old ones are the … eh, oldest) but I really seized up again last night – top of the leg area – could hardly walk – but much better today.

Y’know I didn’t make all this up you know – I’m not doing all this for effect – if I had a CCTV camera in the hallway that had captured the whole thing – believe me I’d have posted it up here and you’d have been amazed! Amazed!

But I don’t. So I can’t. So you’ll have to carry on thinking I’m a hypo who cant stop complaining about the slightest little thing in his life – so much so that he has to blog about it every bleedin’ day. Well, if that’s what you think, then stuff the lot of you.

Calm down, calm down

There. got that lot off my chest. Been buggin’ for a while , that has. Feel better now.

Off to a meeting now in Ealing.

Marvin Gaye’s favourite place.

Best go smarten up.

Now there… are 3…. steps to… carry a donor card – ooh, wap wap!
Just follow steps 1, 2 and 3.

Chopped Liver – Strawberry Fields Forever

August 12, 2010

... shugga... fugga... bugga... mugga!

Shortly heading off with B and Weedy to go fruit picking. I will try and not be the proverbial sack of potatoes – after all they are not fruits, are they? No, the sack of potatoes is the heavy heavy thing some people drag around with them that slows them down and makes them moody and negative – in short carrying around a sack of potatoes makes you moan, groan and sigh.

Some people are like a sack of potatoes. They are negative people. They slow you down and fill you with negative thoughts that rub off onto you and drag you down too.

It is important to rid yourself of sacks of potatoes. If you must carry your troubles with you, put them in a trolley and keep moving. Better still, if you meet someone with a sack of potatoes give them a wide berth. I don’t mean to sound cruel. We all have a burden to bear – some of us shout about it, some of us blog about it, some of us get dragged down by it so that it takes over our lives, and some of us move on steadfastly despite our problems. People do not want to hear bad news so if you feel you want to broadcast it, then do so with positivity and humour.

I heard Kenny Dalglish explaining why he left Celtic, where he was idolised, to take on the almighty challenge of replacing the best player in Europe, Kevin Keegan, at the best club in the world, Liverpool. He said it simply – This is life. It is not a rehearsal. We get one chance and one chance only to achieve our ambitions. So, face the challenge – and hey, my motto – Feel The Fear – And Do It Anyway!

Oh yeah, and why am I saying all this today? ‘Cos I feel like shit today. Have done for a few days. Don’t wanna go out – it’s cold, wet, windy and miserable – and I could soooo easily be a bore today and become a sack of potatoes – but, there i have said it, I recognise it, now I am going to ignore it – I may enjoy the day, I may not – but I will not let how I feel drag down others.

I have a feeling I stole the basis of this analogy from Nigel Risner – if I did, do take it as a compliment, Nigel. That’s if you’ve read this and noticed I stole from you. If you haven’t read this, and neither your, nor Andrew, are aware of it, then nyahh, I win!)

Now there… are 3…. steps to … carry a donor card – ooh, wah wah!
Just follow steps 1, 2 and 3.