Posted tagged ‘morrissey’

Chopped Liver – Why Does It Always Rain On Me?

June 24, 2011

Oh it had to happen, didn’t it?

Every year I go to Glastonbury and it rains.

It makes it so difficult when you are jumping around to the likes of Morrissey or U2, every time you land on the squelchy muddy quagmire you sink in and get barged about and jabbed in the chest by some big greasy lager-filled …..

Ok, ok – hold your horses – stop stressing out Smiler – I am not at Glastonbury.

Just watching it on the telly. Honest.

And thinking to myself – well it kinda looks like a lot of fun – till you think about the logistics. Like eating, drinking, sleeping, weeing and pooing.

And yes it is raining during Morrissey’s set – but the forecast for the weekend is hot and getting hotter – 90 degrees of hot – can you imagine that?

The intense heat. Nowhere to run – Nowhere to hide (rats – waste of a song title) – the need for water, water and more water – and how much will they charge for a bottle of water? And worse, what if they run out? Anyway, I am not allowed to be out either in crowds… or in heat – so, as they say, it is not my problem.

Tell you what – I’m glad I’m watching it on the telly and being able to stare right up Morrissey’s nostrils. And now I’m going to make a cup of tea – and you know what? I may even sneak a little biscuit – and give it a little dunk – while I watch the man making a decent fist of Lou Reed’s Satellite of Love.

To be honest, I have never been a festival kinda guy – always been too needy on the toilet front (should I say, back?). But whenever I speak to people who have come back from Glasto, they all say they have had an amazing time – so good luck to them – but I am staying put watching whatever the Beeb put in front of me.

Oh by the way, on the Warfarin front – after today’s blood test my dose has increased yet again – up to 6mg a day now and continue with the injections – I used to look yellow, then after the transplant I became pink again – now, with my stomach injections, I am turning a darker shade of deep purple (wow, how many music quotes can I fit into one sentence? The answer, my friend, is blowing in the…)


Chopped Liver – Popcorn Double Feature

October 5, 2010

Yes, there is a song about Popcorn – two in fact that I know of – the one I have chosen by The Fall, and of course the early 60’s hit by B Bumble and the Stingers.

Bridge was the slowest ever tonight – and included one near fatality – and that was NOT me on my partner! And it involved Popcorn.

I am now hastily writing my new detective novel – Death By Popcorn. Actually mustn’t be flippant, she seemed in a pretty bad way – hope you’re ok S – gulp, what if she’s not?

Anyway my hand still aches, my leg aches, and now PC is coming out in sympathy AGAIN!

Weedy has been barred from using my laptop now, the poor soul – he is distraught – but believe me, despite Parental Controls, what I found on the desktop “Caligula would have blushed” – so said Morrissey.

Tomorrow, it’s Gastro day – followed by dentist day. I have been given a form by my GP for an X-Ray on my hand – she still thinks it needs seeing to and is still swollen – if I can fit it in tomorrow I will do so – but more likely it’ll be Thursday when I have my Liver appointment.

I once had a post titled I’m a Walking Miracle – it sounds like I am the Walking Dead (with limp).

Hey, it’s almost midnight – gotta post – and attend to this bleedin’ computer.