Posted tagged ‘powerpoint’

Chopped Liver – Electricity

November 26, 2010

I’m just gonna let the Bart Simpson do its own thing – it’s taken over my blog – it’s like an unstoppable train – I’m not sure I understand it – but most of my readership seems to be coming from people searching for Bart Simpson – and all because I suggested he looked a little jaundiced – oh, and I added a pic.

It’s the pic that’s doing it. In fact I did a search in Google for “Bart” and at the very top of the results screen there were a few images of Bart – and one of them was a direct link to this blog – and that out of over 10 million results returned.

Perhaps if I had employed this knowledge in my business I may have generated much greater response for my clients and more revenue for me. Hey I still can – don’t tell anyone my secret – least of all Google – they may not realise that I have cracked their code.

Truth is, I should have just asked Weedy. My 6 year old boy. He would have known. Y’see yesterday he said to me he would like to do a Powerpoint presentation about electricity.

Hey DK, I hope this is not a cheap shot to boost the ratings

Eh, don’t you have a Buzz Lightyear you can play with?

So I got the laptop out, opened Powerpoint and he chose a background design. I showed him how to find images on Google, how to create Custom Animation to make his images appear with “magic” effects in the presentation and how to add text.

I left him to go and make his dinner which I knew he would go “yeeeuuuccchhhh!!!!!!” to.

After half an hour, I came back to find he had created the most amazing, informative and visually stunning (for a 6 year old) Powerpoint presentation all about plugs and sockets, pylons, cables, batteries, appliances – all flying into the screen from various angles.

Ok, I did not explain to him the symptoms of Death By Powerpoint – he doesn’t need to know about that for another 10 years or so.

After he ran through the show for me – I said “Well Done”, now it’s Dinner Time.

He came into the kitchen and saw what I had made him – “Carne”. That is, Chili con Carne – without the Chili.

“yeeeuuuccchhhh!!!!!!” he said, “I don’t want that.”

That’s fine – I said – removing it and putting it to the side. You don’t have to eat anything if you don’t want to.

But I do want to.

Oh, you do? Ok here it is.

Chomp Chomp.

What do you think?

Yummy he said.

Can I have some more?

See? He’s still a kid

Now there… are 3…. steps to… carry a donor card – ooh, wap wap!
Just follow steps 1, 2 and 3.


Chopped Liver – Power To The People

October 16, 2010

As many of you know, Weedy (as in wee D) is my 6-year old son.

Last week his class was told that, over the coming 30 or so weeks, they each have to pick a subject and present a Powerpoint presentation to the class.

I repeat. My son is 6 years old.

But he is MY son – and my son knows how to use a computer. He knows how to study tube maps, road maps, bus maps and he has a fine penchant for downloading viruses and trojans, that I can’t for the life of me get rid of. Yet.

So, asks the teacher, who would like to be first? Up shot Weedy’s hand. Excellent Weedy, declares the teacher. Ok, she didn’t call him Weedy – she’d have probably been hauled up in front of the RSPCC if she had. I for one, would certainly have complained – after all, it’s only me who is allowed to call him that.

And what is your chosen subject?

What a question! How long, exactly, has she known him – to have to ask… I dunno… I worry about the observational powers of teachers today.

Eh, The London Underground, miss.

And would that be the pan-European student activist movement that brought industry to its knees in 1968?

No Miss, that’s the trains wot go under the ground, Miss.

So, Weedy, with a little help form Daddy, set about preparing a 10-screen

tunnel vision

Powerpoint presentation which he gave to the class yesterday – and by all accounts – to great acclaim.

Well done, Boy. My only issue was that I was not there to see it – or even that it wasn’t filmed. I mean if you are going to go all hi-tech with the kids, then come on – a little £100 Flip camera would not have gone amiss surely?

Now there… are 3…. steps to… carry a donor card – ooh, wap wap!
Just follow steps 1, 2 and 3.