Big day tomorrow. I’m in preparation for it. It’s The SuperCuparoonie – formerly known as The Cuparoonie.
It all started way back in Nineteen Canteen, when the boys were bachelors, living in South London and with no commitments. The Boys are Canny K, The Sceptical Punter and myself.
And we play for The Cuparoonie – which brings with it, in addition to victory and holding the Cuparoonie for a whole year, the added kudos of the holder demanding appearance money whenever a pack of cards is produced.
The rules are always the same, always different.
What happens every year is that Canny K sends round an email asking the other two what rules we are going to play this year – and when he gets no reply he just goes ahead and devises a new set.
Essentially, the main games that are played long into the night are Gin Rummy, Cribbage and Blackjack.
I say Gin Rummy. It’s not the Gin Rummy that you may know. This one has Whamaroonies, Half-Whamaroonies and Duckaroonies.
I say those in plural, in fact you are only allowed one Wham or Half-Wham or even one Duck in any one game.
Regarding Cribbage, it’s not quite Cribbage, as you may know it. This one you bid for the crib and only the auction winner gets it. Depending on the pack that has been opened, there are jokers, Bridge score cards and invariably other promotional cards that we attach nuances to. Needless to say, holding a Bridge score card when a joker is turned over can be deadly.
And I say Blackjack. Now Blackjack is about the only game where we haven’t changed the rules. Except for the fact that this is perhaps not the Blackjack you were expecting. This is not Casino Blackjack but the game where the cards have values.
E.g. if you play a 2 then the next player must pick up 2 unless, of course they have a 2 in which case the next player must pick up 4 unless they have a 2 etc. and 8 misses a go, and a Black jack means the next player must pick up 5 unless they have also have a Red jack which cancels it or a Black Jack in which case the next player must pick up 10 unless they have a Red Jack or two in which case they can cancel the penalty of the Black Jack(s) – you get my meaning, it’s pretty straightforward, this one.
Since we started playing the annual Cuparoonie, we have gone through various marriages, girlfriends – but now we are all hitched and at various stages of family life. The Cuparoonie no longer takes place around Christmas time, it is now timed to coincide with the Superbowl – hence the name SuperCuparoonie.
This is as close as we have ever had to documenting the rules, something we have been intending to do for many years, it’s just that the rules kept changing.
Finally, it used to coincide with the consumption of beer, curry and even the odd cigar or cigarette at times. However, health issues and a small dose of common sense has changed all that – even the curry struggles to make an appearance these days – and when it does, it usually outstays its welcome, in my case, by some days!
If there is anyone who has read up to this point – I congratulate you. If there is anyone who claims to have understood it, I think you may need help.
Now there… are 3…. steps to… carry a donor card – ooh, wap wap!
Just follow steps 1, 2 and 3.</a