Posted tagged ‘roonie’

Chopped Liver – The Loving Cup

February 5, 2011

Big day tomorrow. I’m in preparation for it. It’s The SuperCuparoonie – formerly known as The Cuparoonie.

It all started way back in Nineteen Canteen, when the boys were bachelors, living in South London and with no commitments. The Boys are Canny K, The Sceptical Punter and myself.

And we play for The Cuparoonie – which brings with it, in addition to victory and holding the Cuparoonie for a whole year, the added kudos of the holder demanding appearance money whenever a pack of cards is produced.

The rules are always the same, always different.

What happens every year is that Canny K sends round an email asking the other two what rules we are going to play this year – and when he gets no reply he just goes ahead and devises a new set.

Essentially, the main games that are played long into the night are Gin Rummy, Cribbage and Blackjack.

I say Gin Rummy. It’s not the Gin Rummy that you may know. This one has Whamaroonies, Half-Whamaroonies and Duckaroonies.

I say those in plural, in fact you are only  allowed one Wham or Half-Wham or even one Duck in any one game.

Regarding Cribbage, it’s not quite Cribbage, as you may know it. This one you bid for the crib and only the auction winner gets it. Depending on the pack that has been opened, there are jokers, Bridge score cards and invariably other promotional cards that we attach nuances to. Needless to say, holding a Bridge score card when a joker is turned over can be deadly.

And I say Blackjack. Now Blackjack is about the only game where we haven’t changed the rules. Except for the fact that this is perhaps not the Blackjack you were expecting. This is not Casino Blackjack but the game where the cards have values.

E.g. if you play a 2 then the next player must pick up 2 unless, of course they have a 2 in which case the next player must pick up 4 unless they have a 2 etc. and 8 misses a go, and a Black jack means the next player must pick up 5 unless they have also have a Red jack which cancels it or a Black Jack in which case the next player must pick up 10 unless they have a Red Jack or two in which case they can cancel the penalty of the Black Jack(s) – you get my meaning, it’s pretty straightforward, this one.

The Cuparoonie 2010 – let’s hope this year will be just as good

Since we started playing the annual Cuparoonie, we have gone through various marriages, girlfriends – but now we are all hitched and at various stages of family life. The Cuparoonie no longer takes place around Christmas time, it is now timed to coincide with the Superbowl – hence the name SuperCuparoonie.

This is as close as we have ever had to documenting the rules, something we have been intending to do for many years, it’s just that the rules kept changing.

Finally, it used to coincide with the consumption of beer, curry and even the odd cigar or cigarette at times. However, health issues and a small dose of common sense has changed all that – even the curry struggles to make an appearance these days – and when it does, it usually outstays its welcome, in my case, by some days!

If there is anyone who has read up to this point – I congratulate you. If there is anyone who claims to have understood it, I think you may need help.

Now there… are 3…. steps to… carry a donor card – ooh, wap wap!
Just follow steps 1, 2 and 3.</a


Chopped Liver – News Of The World

September 5, 2010

I keep meeting people who run businesses who are now keen and eager to market themselves properly. I’ll admit there was a period of time recently where they simply cut right back – sometimes to zero – on their marketing or advertising spend in the hope that they could ride out the recession and come out the other end still in a strong position.

There were others, of course, who seized the opportunity during lean times to maintain, or even step, up on their marketing spend so that they would have stolen a competitive edge over their competition.

In short, if you ignored the fact that there was even a recession happening you would have made great strides with your business.

The motto? Don’t read the News. If you don’t read the news, then you don’t get sidetracked by negative thoughts – you simply march on regardless.

If you do read the news however, you could be forgiven for believing that the recession is still on – the papers have to fill their pages – and bad news sells more than good news, or even no news. And that is what we have today – and that is why savvy businesses have had enough of it – they will now take care of business – and when they do, they will realise that many others have too – and you know what? – it feels good! It feels great to be back in business.

So let’s all put down our newspapers. We don’t need to know about the Coles. About the state of Wayne Rooney’s marriage. The Pakistan cricket scandal held brief interest but when you think about it – a betting scandal in cricket is not exactly a surprise. Kevin Pietersen saying “fuck” in a tweet is not that important. Tiger Woods divorcing? Well, you do surprise me. Tory politician in gay love triangle? Yaaawwnnn.

Ohhh... yyeeaaahhh!!

And here’s the thing. These are all the main news stories the tabloids have been feeding off lately – and what are they all concerned with? Sex, Money and Celebrities – seriously – are any of these topics worth losing your business for?

So let’s get out there once again – and serve our customers. Let’s do what we are best at – running our businesses.

Now there… are 3…. steps to… carry a donor card – ooh, wap wap!
Just follow steps 1, 2 and 3.