Posted tagged ‘the beatles’

Chopped Liver – Paperback Writer

February 23, 2012

I am buzzing.

Two bits of good news this week.

I had my liver checkup at the Royal Free. Everything looks pretty much ok except for a bit of Vitamin D deficiency – which I have probably cured by basking in the barmy sunny February weather (don’t tell the doc – I’m not supposed to bask in the sun, but hey, it is still February).

And he said to come in … 4 months!!

Now that is good – either that or he cant be bear my sense of humour for another 4 months.

The next bit is – WE ARE AN AUTHOR – as Maggie would have said.

My Book Cover for Amazon Kindle's Liver Transplant Diary

That's Liver Transplant Diary to them... Chopped Liver to you!

Y’see I have taken the best bits out of all these blogs and put them together to make a book (cries from the back – that’ll be 3 paragraphs then), and I have got myself a luuverly front cover, and I have published it on Amazon Kindle – just like that!

And I feel good about that. Not necessarily that I think anyone will buy it (£3.24 after all), but just that after all the effort and all the relevant content, it is out there for someone – someone may be in a similar situation and may find it and get some comfort from it – who knows.

Oh, and guess what… I have not called it Chopped Liver. Strange maybe, but I did it for SEO reasons – more people would be searching for liver transplant than chopped liver, that’s if they were looking for something about liver transplants rather then something you eat on a cracker. So I called it Liver Transplant Diary – and look – you can see it here.

Anyway, I am glad it’s out there.

One thing, though, please… if you meet anyone desperate to buy it – don’t tell them the ending!

(Oh no, look it’s got that same old photo again with the cream jacket… so last season)



Chopped Liver – A Day In The Life

May 26, 2011

I heard the news today.

Oh Boy!

Three hospitals have been charged with abusing patients in one form or another. A hospital in Worcestershire was starving their elderly patients to death – leaving them food they couldn’t reach or who missed their meals because they were asleep. Another in Ipswich where patients picked up nasty infections from remaining in badly soiled clothing for days upon days.

And another in North London – oh no it’s the Royal Free! My second home. What have they done wrong? They don’t respond to patients call buttons and didn’t bother to document patients’ food or fluid intake accurately. Hmmm… well, I can’t say it’s not true. In fact, I experienced both of these failures many times during my stay. I didn’t really want to say these things in my blog as I felt the nurses have a thankless task. What they have to put up with, from abusive patients to patients with uncontrollable bodily functions – hey, it’s little wonder sometimes that they don’t answer call buttons – they are simply too busy sorting someone else out.

I believe it’s more a symptom of short staffiing than anything malicious.

But I’d had enough of watching the news and hearing about my dear friend the Royal Free being publicly humiliated. So I switched over the channel – as usual there was nothing on, but I like to watch something as I eat my dinner (bad habit I know), so I ended up watching Watchdog.

Anne Robinson.

That’s a sentence in itself.

In every sense of the word.

Guess what. They had a report on the Royal Free charging more for car parking than any other hospital in the country. Oh dear, it seems it’s RFH-bashing Day – but then this is a fairly central London area with very limited space for parking so they have to charge a lot otherwise unscrupulous non-hospital could end up using the car park as a means to jumping on the tube to commute into London avoiding the congestion charge.

Ok maybe not. Anyway, this doesn’t affect me personally as I am a mere four stops on the tube to the hospital anyway – but I am sure it affects most people – especially close family from further afield visiting loved ones on a daily basis. Very expensive.

Anyway, Mr. Cameron, keep right on with your plan of massive cuts to the NHS. I am sure these criticisms reaching our TV screens today will pale into insignificance in the near future.

The Royal Free is not the Weakest Link

My experience of the NHS, and of the Royal Free in particular is…. not perfect by all the hospital staff – but awesome in many other areas. Their specialist staff – doctors, pharmacists, patient coordinators, theatre staff and many nursing staff are beyond reproach in my opinion.

If asked I will gladly, and in confidence, offer my observations as to where I see improvements could be made with no need for extra staff or time required – but I won’t use this medium.

Chopped Liver – I Am The Walrus

February 17, 2011

coo coo ca choo.

It’s been a rough couple of days.

Much pain and discomfort.

Pain from the allergic reaction to a bandage used to put a canula in place. Pain from excessive fluid retention following 12 hours in theatre – the show that was on must have been The Elephant Man.

Knowing that whatever I post on the Internet stays there forever I will make a sensible decision and not “expand” too much more on this. Except to say it has been a major source pain and discomfort.

Discomfort due to lack of sleep brought about by the strange goings ons of the other patients (inmates?). Druggies, alkies, incredible rudeness and being cared for by the incredibly hardworking understaffed nurses – and all they get is abuse.

The more alert amongst you may have noticed that I haven’t mentioned the word “liver” so far. That is because this enormous wound around my whole chest housing somebody else’s donated liver has caused me no pain and no discomfort.


So although I am still very early stages – rejection would still not be unusual – it always will be possible.

As today has progressed the docs have tinkered with my meds and I am getting a bit better today and looking forward to another new day tomorrow.

coo coo ca choo

Chopped Liver – Here Comes The Sun

January 26, 2011

The Sun Page 1:

Gray Is A Sexist Pig.

The Sun Page 3:

Lindy Lou gets her kit off for the lads.


Now there… are 3…. steps to… carry a donor card – ooh, wap wap!
Just follow steps

Chopped Liver – Can’t Buy Me Liver

January 5, 2011

I see that the debate about being able to sell your own organs has raised its ugly head again. You can read the whole article in The Independent HERE if you like, but here are the Pros and Cons with my considered views attached.

    Should we be allowed to sell our organs?
    The arguments for Yes

* It would boost the supply of organs helping to solve the national shortage – No, there shouldn’t be a national shortage – that is a national disgrace. If we had an opt-out clause when you become age 18 then there is no national shortage.

* It would end the existing black market in organs, making it safer for people to donate – No, there would be no black market in organs if we had an opt-out clause at age 18.

* It would mean donors were paid like everyone else – doctors, nurses, transplant co-ordinators – involved in transplantation. Why should we be paying people for their organs? Incredible – we have a National Health Service, so we should have a national organ donor clause. Oh, and it should be a condition of citizenship that you buy into this clause. No automatic opt-in – no British citizenship.

    The arguments for No

* Encouraging people to sell parts of their bodies is morally wrong and would almost certainly lead to exploitation of the poor. I agree.

* Potential donors would be more likely to conceal conditions or illnesses that might rule them out. I agree.

* It would undermine the existing altruistic donor programme. I agree.

And by the way, before I get picked up on the question of under 18’s who have the misfortune of having organs to donate – it should be a condition that the parent or guardian must agree to the organ being offered – unless, of course, they opt out.

Now there… are 3…. steps to… carry a donor card – ooh, wap wap!
Just follow steps

Chopped Liver – A Day In The Life

November 17, 2010

I read the news today, oh boy.

I want to mention the creation of a new online newspaperblog thingy. It’s called the The Transplant-people Daily and it is the creation of @ukcybernaut – or Mark as he was pre-twitter.

You may have heard me mention Mark before in these pages – that is because he was waiting on a double lung transplant. Most of you may not even realised such a thing existed – I didn’t.(*) However, Mark had his operation barely 6 weeks ago and he’s already back home and launching this new initiative. It brings a new meaning to the word Respect in my book.

And I would like to say that I am proud to be featured in the current edition – it just continues to show a) what you can achieve when you overcome or simply ignore hurdles and b) the ever-expanding use and ease with which we can communicate in the modern age.

Do feel free to have a read of Mark’s paper and I am sure he will be grateful to receive your feedback.

(*) I say I didn’t – actually I did – because @Lamlungartist had a similar operation and went on to compete highly successfully at various sporting events – a bigup to you Justine.

Now there… are 3…. steps to… carry a donor card – ooh, wap wap!
Just follow steps 1, 2 and 3.

Chopped Liver – I Shall Be Released

March 11, 2010

Final tests today.

Already had blood taken – that was just as a special treat.

But I have something this morning called a synacthen test – which involves taking some blood ( YES! ), giving me an injection, then taking note blood to see the effects of the injection – I don’t know why they bother, they just have to look at my face!

Anyway the plan is I will get this done shortly , meet the big fish (sturgeon!), and free to go – back out into the streets “where everyone walks”) – love that line – from Dylan’s ingenious parody of the Beatles’ Norwegian Wood called 4th Time Around – you can pick it up from all good record shops – and some bad ones too.

The next step is to stand by my phone pending the outcome of tomorrow’s meeting with Smiler and the gang to decide whether I am just too darn healthy to have a liver transplant or whether because I am so healthy it stands me in good stead to have the transplant now.

There’s also the small matter of seeing Weedy again and giving him the biggest hug in the world.

Hmmmm….. Still here.

I have given blood 4 times today so far – all my tests are now finished but there are a couple of things still to be done before I shall be released – I need to meet the big fish and I need to get my medicines back from the locked cabinet.

Shouldn’t take long you might imagine.

You might imagine wrong.

The surgeon will/may see me when he has a slot ( apparently I am not his number one priority – things like life-saving surgery comes ahead of shaking my hand).

And getting my meds out of the cabinet above my head involves sending a request letter to outer Mongolia who need to shred it, retype in Sanskrit and send it via carrier pigeon (the one with the damaged wing) back to the cabinet above my head.
I had, in my innocence, actually got dressed already with shoes on expecting to go this morning.

Shoes are off again.

Is there a song called I May Be Released?

Certainly, Please Release Me. Great song that by Bumpledink Ninkleplonk.

3 o’clock – still here – just seen the fish – he told me how the new liver is found, how it is connected, the risks involved (and there are risks – he said this is one of the most complicated operations that can be performed – but they do them all the time).

If … Sorry when totally successful it can alleviate many of my current conditions and enable me to lead a normal life.

He did say that with my condition I actually have no alternative – this is good – I’d hate to have to make a choice!

And then I signed the consent form.

I’ll just repeat that…. And then I signed the consent form.

There is a meeting tomorrow of all interested parties (except me!) – I thought it would be a key significant meeting but in looks more and more to me like it’s going to routine and in fact if a suitable liver was found tonight (yeh, I know) then I could even now be called in.

I think I am now On Standby!

Six o’clock and still here in the hospital. All I want is my medication that has been prescribed to me with my name on it that I brought in myself. But I can’t get clearance yet. There is some more news that I will digest overnight and discuss tomorrow. Much to ponder. The real deal has already started.