Posted tagged ‘youtube’

Chopped Liver – Suspended Sentence

January 15, 2011

Sometimes the little-uns say the funniest things – hey there’s an idea for a TV program – but so it was today – I howled with laughter – you’ll probably be non-plussed.

People often sing along when they are doing chores. But when you have a taste in music as obscure as mine – that can lead to alarming results. I am sometimes known to recite the spoken-word intro to an obscure John Cooper Clarke track from 1977 – which I haven’t actually heard since 1978.

Does me boom look big inis?

JCC is a Manc poet who sets his poems to a rhythm often backed by musicians – or in some cases by musical machines – and in this particular case by a drum machine.

The spoken word intro to Suspended Sentence says “Raiyyt, we all staaart when the droom machine staaarts”. Well, how else do you write Manc?

So from to time I, for reasons unknown, am heard uttering this phrase. As it was today, as I was preparing lunch in the kitchen – and I had just finished whisking the eggs when I pronounced “Raiyyt”.

To which Weedy, from another room responded with “we all staaart when the droom machine staaarts”!

Believe me, I was convulsed with laughter. John Cooper Clarke would’ve been convulsed with laughter. John Peel, if he was still alive, and in my house (both rather unlikely) would’ve been convulsed with laughter. There may well be someone else in Manchester who may have chuckled – but apart from those three, I don’t know anyone who would’ve gleaned much from this exchange at all.

Still, it made me go on to YouTube and select the chosen track – just to hear those dulcet Manc tones informing us when “we all come in”.

It’s when the “droom machine staaarts”.

Now there… are 3…. steps to… carry a donor card – ooh, wap wap!
Just follow steps

Chopped Liver – Super Trouper

March 16, 2010

Tuesday is a busy day.

It always has been – and today is no exception. It goes like this… give or take.

Get woken up at 6am by Weedy – rummaging around my drawers (oo-er, missus) looking for my iPhone. Actually B and I differ greatly on Weedy’s use of the iPhone – we dont really discuss our disagreement too much on account of the fact that we both know we are right – we just have to find a way of sneakily making our way happen. The bottom line is – Weedy knows his way round the iPhone like the back of his hand – but I dont have games on it – I have these basic Apps that are both fun and informative for a 5 yr old e.g. the maps. Weedy loves maps. Street Maps, Town Maps, Motorway maps, country maps – he can literally sit on the floor quiet as a … quiet thing and travel from the road we live in all the way to … Liverpool.

He likes the Planets App. it’s pretty darn cool. Immense actually.

He likes the Doodle App – where he can draw pictures.

And of course YouTube. Now he is only 5 and you might say – you shouldn’t let a 5 yr old loose on YouTube – you never know what he might stumble upon – but I tell you – he can type “bus” and he can type “train” and can type “and” – and so he sits in front of the screen selecting videos of buses and trains – and he is happy as Larr… Weedy.

Unfortunately, B is not happy. I’m not really sure why – but she does not want him to be using the iPhone. And I hear some of you saying – hey David this is a bit unfair using your blog to state your side of an argument without offering your wife her side of the argument – if you have something that needs discussing then you should put the laptop down and discuss it – well, I ‘ll respond to that in 3 ways – 1) You’re right, 2) I dont have anything to discuss and 3) there is a comments box at the bottom for responses to be made.

Ok, option 3 is a bit of a throwaway comment (actually so are 1 and 2) – but let me ask you this. Is it better for B and I to get another hour or so of blissful sleep and for B to be quietly planning the route from Barnet to Ashby de la Zouch or would we rather listen to him rummaging around clothes, drawers and cupboards looking for something we have clearly hidden and he has no chance of finding?

Hey, I might even find one day that he has done my blog for the day…. then we’d all know how to get from Barnet to Ashby de la Zouch!

So, back to my schedule. Take Weedy (sometimes) to school and return – one hour round trip… give or take. Do some work. Leave at 11:00 for BNI business networking meeting – till about 14:00-ish. Tomorrow I have a meeting in Barnet at 15:00 with two inspiring people – Kesh, who runs thebestofBrent and who is officially the most connected person in North London (rats – that includes me!) and Mark Shaw who is a Twitter extraordinaire and all round decent bloke.

And back home (unless I can fit in a another business meeting in Barnet) for a bite to eat with my boy (maybe a little play with the iPhone), followed by the Weedy routine – you know pee, poo, a little read of the junior encyclopedia (hmmm… more educational…no.. dont go there), bath, jim jams, teeth, a few corny daddy jokes, bed, and then I’m off out for the evening to play Bridge (not always as relaxing as you might think – that last bit… but I think I’ll leave that one hanging…).

Now, that Ladies and Cheltenham, is one long day – even without a dodgy liver.

Good job I drafted the blog the night before , HA!