Chopped Liver – Alone Again, Naturally

Naturally, it could’ve been Alone Again Or or Alone Again Naturally but I chose Naturally.

Primarily, as I have never before started and ended a sentence with Naturally, correctly – naturally.

The point is that B and Weedy have landed – and will be experiencing weather close to 25 degrees higher than what they have left.

The road to Heathrow was a doddle. We arrived early – and that is early by El Al standards – 4 hours rather than the obligatory 3. The check-in hall was clear. You might think that was a good thing – in fact it was most frustrating – as we were not allowed to enter for fear of congestion. No fear of congestion from where I looked – it was empty.

So we were cattled across the road to a massive marquee where we were informed that free tea and coffee woould be provided – yeah right – as if we could get close to it. No, we had to stand in the smoke-polluted freezing cold – where everyone stood.(*) (**)

We were told that we may be there for 2 hours. That was the cue, after 20 minutes for us to get the “EL AL passenegrs only” call. As B said – it must leave on time and there must be the customary stringent security checks.

In fact, as I waited till B had checked in her suitcase, a heavily armed security guard approached me to enquire as to my reason for hanging around the El Al queue. “Ah, y’see sir, my wife, y’see, she’s bin laden with her case an’ all”.

No, I did not say that.

And so I am home alone for the next 11 days – hoping more than ever that I don’t get that call. They need a holiday.

And so do I!

(*) Obscure and somewhat contrived Dylan reference
(*) Well, it tickled me, anyway

Now there… are 3…. steps to… carry a donor card – ooh, wap wap!
Just follow steps 1, 2 and 3.

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